I am jittery. My legs are rapidly shaking. My body trembles. My chest is tight.
From age 8 till the end of my eighth grade summer, I was on one swim team or another. While I did well in Butterfly and back stroke. Breaststroke and freestyle had leg issues. In breaststroke I did not focus on keeping my knees together. In freestyle my legs acted more as a drift anchor. Races all shared the same epinephrine rush.
Held in tighter and tighter reign, that governance of the effects of adrenaline can itself become a focus. This focus allows a rapid response to the starter’s pistol. When released, the seemingly accumulating energy adds to the push of the muscle shooting you down the lane.
The ability to create control and calm myself is still a skill I possess. Though with no event, no starter’s pistol there is a build up of energy like boiler which is missing a pressure release valve. I can meditate in a calm state for lengths of time, but the calm is only because other things are held at bay.
This communication is with God. What can distract from this meditation is the building concern for others and the need of social interaction.
Then when I have remained in communion for the amount of time the Spirit is noticeably at work, God makes an exit. This brings the question, what is the differences between this type of revelation with its concise ending and the ongoing and increasing work of the Spirit living in my heart. When my focus is directed toward the glorious radiance of Ἰησοῦ Χριστοῦ τοῦ Ναζωραῖου, the Bridegroom, could it seem to be anything other than brilliant. Could turning away from this toward any activity in the cave not appear gloomy in comparison. This has always been to me, my Allegory of the Cave.